| (no subject) |
[Jan. 16th, 2006|04:05 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drained | ] |
| [ | music |
| | I'm Shakin' - Rooney | ] |
If you did something you absolutely regret, that could ruin not only several friendships, but a chance to live out something you've dreamed of for several years? What the hell would you do?
I sure as hell don't know what i am going to do. I'm sick of school, sick of work, sick of stress..sick of stuff never going the way i plan. Everywhere you turn, good shit is landing in people's laps. and i actually thought for a split second it might actually be in the process of happening to me. . . but, that is of course, complete bullshit.
It's not that i'm being all pessimistic and wallowing in my own sorrow. Not yet at least. It is like... the calm before the storm, lol. I'm just waiting for all this horrible shit i've done to blow up in my face. And of course, to fail chemistry.This is stupid, I'll just write later. |
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| Dirty Little Secret. |
[Aug. 24th, 2005|12:50 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  guilty-ish. | ] |
Hey
Went camping with les sista's and my mom. Was actually kinda fun. Really...i know. Went down to the sandbanks (near belleville) for like, 4 days and got to drive the van all around the lil ass town and campsite *bittchhess i can drive*..
Some people...quite recently, are being major assholes and oddly enough, i don't give a shit..well, i kinda do but it's not like i have any say in what they do. Weeeellll, i think that i finished what i started with The East coast boy. Not realllllly finished, just sorta made it a lot worse actually. But I really don't wanna get involved with that long distance shit, seeing as the feelings there just aren't that mutual. Going to the Gay Pride parade this weekend i think, with Andrew and company. Should be pretty cool.. My lil ambercrombie and fitch model, short ass boy. Anyways I'm bored and need a freaking shower. and some sleep. Moving? Soon? We shall see i hope to god i do though, before school. <3 later gangsters - - Kaitlyn |
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| Limbo. |
[Aug. 13th, 2005|02:02 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Styrafoam Plates- Death Cab For Cutie | ] |
Ugh I actually am mildly happy lately. Yes well, discluding the fact that i'm pretty uninformed or unsure of ....almost every goddamn important thing in my life right now. It's truely joyful. What actually is joyful is my upcoming weekend with Brittany :) *w00t* Brittany is le Shit.
You know, every time i think that i might start liking my dad and wanting to spend time with him he comes up with this totally random asshole move. Really, I'm not even lying..every goddamn time. I sometimes think he might actually be happier without me and the gang. Really... He actually SINGS now, I've heard him all humming to songs or full out singing the words.
So,School Soon. Yay..I'm actually kinda looking forward to it for various reasons.. like the shopping, ooooohh yes i <3 School supply shopping :)
I am actually thinking my mom might be moving back to South Keys before school starts..I'm quite surprised she might pull it off.
I definately hate time magazine.
A lot of weird shit has been happening lately. I do admit, some of it is my fault...Because i sorta brought it on by opening my mouth, but i really dislike being confused. Dislike it a lot. I have too many questions and i really hate being blunt and i just sorta am scared of what the cold-hard truth could be?
Gah- Fuck this. im going to bed. I just wrote like, a 3 page rant in my new sexay argyle journal filled with much more than this...cuse i don't like people reading into my journal, online ones just feel so weird?
-taataas <3 Kaitlyn |
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| Ahh Gotta <3 Summer |
[Jul. 8th, 2005|05:09 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Some Piano thing. | ] |
Ahhh Hello there
I've been awake all night. Yesterday i was up 'til 6 am too...Not really sure wat time i will be sleeping tonight.
Just Got In from Allanna's. We went for a 'walk' a.k.a. . she came to get me and we chilled at her place, at chips, and watched hhharryy potta.
I've been in a really weird state of mind lately. Well, weirder than usual. I've like..not tripped out/gotten mad at all, even when i prolly should. It's like i've gone Un-emo..Weird-ness. Last time i got mad/Emosad was cusa Neil like a couple days ago and i bitched him out nicely. :S . And that was it. No more "care-face" for moi...It just randomly dissapeared.
Anyways I can't wait to get a freaking job. Me and Nathalie went and applied at 15 places like..Wednesday. HOPEFULLY i get the damn job at American eagle. OOohhooooOoo i can just dream of the jeans.. ( I <3 Jeans...thought i would point that out. Especially AE ones)...The Manager seemed to really like me, and I havn't even handed in my resume/application thing yet.
Tonight i got in a wicked fight with my mom. She's gone insane. I fucking hate barrhaven? Did i mention that already? It's not the area or anything.. i just hate This HOUSE. RGH my uncle--> Pisses me off beyond belief. Anyways my mom wants to 'kick me out' ? LMAO<-- I will laugh my ass off if she actually does it. I doubt she will, honestly..Living with my dad= hell no.
Anyways, failing careers wasn't really the highlight of my schoolyear, i must say. I better have a kickass summer or someone is gonna pay the price. *shakes fist*
I havn't even partied yet:( .. Not that i actually want to, ew...i'm thinking that i'm over the drunk-stoned party girl thing .. all the same, it's not like i've done ANYTHING at all so far this summer. Even Canada day wasn't that fun.. Went downtown with like 6 ppl.. Had Britt bitch out this guy nicely in Mcdonalds for me, saw kalen porter (*Yay*:|) annnd that's it. Went home and slept.
I think me and Britt are gunna go canoeing ... not that i have talked it over with her or anything, but..we shall. I <3 Canoeing..ahhhhh fun fun.
Goddamn i am really really freaking bored. LMAO<- My mom ditched me at wal-mart today? how LAME is that... I went to winner's and she like.. left me.*ass* . WTF? Everyone i know who is a stoner, has told me i'm blazing with them. Like, all of them have in the past like 3 days. It's insanity. I won't do it .
Whhooooooorrrrrrreeeesss....
I have nothing to write.Sooo Off i go to ... sit.
Oh man, The Bombings in london today,er yesterday--So sad.. -
<3 Kaitlyn <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 |
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| Ohooo 12 o'clock |
[Jun. 23rd, 2005|12:12 am] |
Heyyyy homies, This diet-- killing me.. if i don't
get skinny, im sueing. Bleh , today was quite amusing. I slept in like
mmadddd (well, after my science exam i napped quite nicely).. And then
Neil called my cell phone :s i didnt even know he had the # to that..
anyways, it's broken sooo i sorta let it ring while i was in the
shower. Anyways long story short, i went over to graham's with Neil,
and we ... well, called someone like a billion times. sooooooooo funny.
I honestly could have cried. Poor girl. so stupid. I felt a LITTLE
guilty.. buuut *Shrugs* o well, AGH the b-haven.. SO close *kill me*
*kill me* *kill me* oooo well, i will just invite everyone over...
Lol.. errrr i think Neil mighta gotten in trouble for being late
tonight *oops* soorrttaa my fault ohhhhh well, i'm in a very 'Oh well'
type mood i must say
- Oh well - Oh well - Oh well - Oh well - Oh well - Oh well - Oh well - Oh well- Oh well - Oh well -.......
...
BLLLEEEHHH...Me and Neil= Going out
(i might as well underline that, and bold it too.. sure).. yyaahh
thought i would just, put that out there.. not like we are all 'pda'
buutt i don't mind.. i'm not big on the PDA anyways we've been together
for awhile now.. .. But yeh.. it's not like anyone actually READS this
considering i have like one friend added on this thingy (Graham)
lol...indeed..... annndd im thinking he is very aware of the fact i
like Neil..even though awhile ago i definately tried to convince myself
(and ppl) that i didn't ... Meh. I am really not enjoying the salad i
have to eat all the freaking time. When i volunteer @ the hospital they
give me a free meal.. u know how hard it is to turn down a
free pizza ( my usual meal) or poutine.. for a freaking SALAD, a Salad Goddamnit- EW. Ohhh i love complaining:) w00t w00t... i'm going bungee-jumping with Colleen ( <3
) in the summer YAY!! im extra-excited.. Honestly, this whole Barrhaven
thing isn't even gunna get me down... I'm thinking this summer might
actually be O.K :)
O-M-G i totally forgot what i was spazzing about like.. 15 mins ago ---> i saw TIM ( yes. . . ex boyfriend Tim)
On the bus today!! as i was walking home.. talking to Nathalie on the
phone about random shit... I look over at the bus going by oooonn the
other side of the road and i see shitface in the bus!! i am 1110000%
sure it was him.....he even told me hne was coming to south keys
tonight :S and that he would 'call me'..ew, i hoped not.
I then proceeded to curl up in a laying type
ball on the sidewalk.. .. yes, I'm a weird one. BUT the fuck face dide
dump me .. well, technically i did it .. but he ignored me
blahblahblah.. who cares, he's an ass. Annywayyyyyss enough of that. My
mom totally knew about our constant make-outage in my bedroom when he
was over.. i'm pretty sure she has hinted at it like, a million times..
as if i need to hear about that. bleh. I'm totally outta here. . . .
Tired.. And math exam on friday again with the *kill me* cuse if i
fail.. i am FUUCCKKEED
( seeing as last time i checked i had a 48.5 % anndd that was
before the summative, so who knows.. i might not even stand a chance of
passing . Joy.)
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Time to eat my chiickkkaannnnn :) yay.. *btw* stear
clear of me on Saturday-- It's my junk food day:)
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| wahhaooo |
[Jun. 19th, 2005|06:12 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | hopeful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Atreyu- The Crimson | ] |
Heyhey
Ahhhh excellent news. . NO SCHOOL FUCKERS!! thank god.. i was going insane in that hellhole. Last day.. Definately didn't go to any classes. At all. WEnt to the mall with neil and graham and some guy.. timmy? anywho.. then met up with kate bobyn, wandered with her 'band' annnndddd then went to the assembly with alisa and graham. Best day of school i think, just cuse.. it didn't involve actual 'school'. This summer is gunna be some interesting stuff. August is definately off my list of plans, seeing as i have to sit on my ass the whole month... but hey!! Be excited--> no school!! w00t ... Kaitlyn's love life = completely non-existant. Yea... pathetic, i am sooo aware of that.
People Progress:
...Ricardo: Totally in love with me.
...Britt: Mental Breakdown? i hope not... Nice haircut tho!!
...Neil:.....
...Sarah: Never talk to her :(
..Kate Hillier: Dating Chris. I'm done with that peice of work.
...Alisa: Home alone next week! YUS!!
..Aliesha > some girl i met at Britt's party -- SO fucking conceited. . it's unreal..i didn't think someone could love themselve that much
Barrhaven..12 days, counting today ..*tear* Goodbye dear old south keys.. We will be meeting again :(
I fucking HATE b-haven, i dont even know how to SPELL it... goddamn
Bored outta my mind at the moment.. sopposed to be father's day.. but i stayed home to 'study'
mhm.. i havn't so far. Oh well, i don't care, i have English tomorrow... it won't be that hard.
I'm sopposed to be on some shit ass diet, cusa this.. thing, in the summer.. and i honestly think it is STUPID, i want it to DIE, and i havnt even gone a full day without cheating yet... Ugh, Tofu, Protien Shakes, Salad... NO MAYO, NO CHEESE, NO GOOD STUFF<-- that's what it comes down to..
My damn parents seem so excited about this whole thing too.. like they have been waiting years for someone to call thier kid fat so they could fix it. Oh well, all worth it in the end..hopefully.
Britt's b-day on Friday was pretty cool, stayed in some rich ass hotel, ran up and down the stairs and tortured room service... T'was fun. The menu was freaking WEIRD tho, i've never heard of anything on it.. even the pizza was fucked up (tho good.)
{34} <3 Less than Three |
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| Death to heat. Death. |
[Jun. 10th, 2005|12:45 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | so goddamn hot. | ] |
Unnghhhh SO hot....wanting to die in a puddle of nice cool water.
Wow, I am one very confused child i must say. Thank god the summer is coming around or I think some shit at school would have made me go insane. For example. . The face? I'm much too much of a puss to tell her off... so i deal with it. *sigh* shut up. I've paid the price, let me tell you... I have grown to HATE her , not cuse of her herself in a sense. , but moreso the way ppl treat me when i am around her. Fuck that shit. But, sadly the face isn't even the worst of it. But, I'm not going to speak of such horrid things
--would write more, but i think i am going to fall over and die from the heat.. goddamn, its only june too.. -----<3 |
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| Kaitlyn Hates Barrhaven. A lot. |
[Jun. 5th, 2005|04:10 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | shitty. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Personal Jesus- Manson | ] |
FUCK!! -->
Moving, right at the beggining of the fucking summer. FUCK!!
The lovely choices of barrhaven or my DAD's...Honestly, i hate both
prospects and currently would prefer sleeping in a ditch. Barhavven, at
least I will have the internet to please myself with in the countless
lonesome hours i forsee...but my dad's is closer to everyone:(
It's so unfair.. I didn't think my mom was serious... i fucking hate
where i live more than anything else, even my dad's ... this place
makes me wanna vomit.. ugh, but i like PEOPLE ok? PEOPLE who live near
me are cool, it's sawmill town. . I've got shit to do if i live here.
If I move, i'm screwed with times just like back in the day. Everyone
in Barhavven is a fucking DOUCHE. everyone on the base is a failure at
everything, i hate them all.
I'm so fucking confused right now about everything. Every fucking
thing. And poor Graham. . i totally ranted on to him about the most
random things yesterday, i hate doing that... I was sopposed to / am
sopposed to hang out with Neil today. Me meeting the Queen of England
on my way to Tim Hortons seems more likely right now.
I hate people. Go away.
<3>
..maybe i will move back here when school starts:)
Fuck, i want to DIE . . moving is shit, and no one is helping cuse everyone SUCKS. |
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| Untitled .. |
[Jun. 5th, 2005|01:14 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | excellent. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Dashboard... shut your mouth, I <3 Emo. | ] |
Heyyyy --> It's pretty much May 30th...
Volunteering tonight, was pretty good...a lot of cleaning glass shelves though and dusting and such... mmm, but i got pizza and poutine so i am not complaining.
My mom was gone for a whole week to Newfoundland last week (tuesday - Sunday) . I must say it was quite boring, other than a few...interesting events. And my dad went to Alaska, so I was very alone in the province. But when he was here, and my mom was gone he was REALLY REALLY nice... and i was really really confused. Honestly, he brought me my keys at like 12 am after i went to a movie ?? hmm and he offered to drive me to Brittany's ( in KANATA) ... weiiirrddd shit. But he turned ''normal'' when my mom was expected back and my sisters were around.. *Sigh* ..
School, lame. And i am so fucked in english with that essay and such. . . aghhh i love my social life too much to sacrifice it at lunch for some douche-y essay....Hmm... Ricardo has found a new obsession I think, bravo for him, she's quite f-ugly i must say... really, she is.. i'm not joking, ask Nat.
Haha, Nathalie. What a girl, dating someone named Micheal Kelso. And, if u are a dipshit and don't recognise the name, its that stupid ass guy on that 70's show.. Ashton Kutcher? Good, glad you remember.
Ahh finally the questioning about me and Graham dating has died down. Idiots.
Ahhh best website EVER , you must check it out or i will have to assult you. http://maddox.xmission.com/ yes, go there.
Weellll.... i am on some sort of reading rampage, ive got like, 10 books ( no joke, 10) coming into the library for me. :) i'm excited.
This morning, 15 minutes to get ready and leave the house, and have a shower. I did it all, yes i am a genius... i even dried my hair:). I deserve an award for such skills.
Ahh screw this, Kaitlyn is going to bed. . 3 WEEKS OF SCHOOL LEFT!! gooddamnnnniitt... i cannot wait! who cares about summer school at this point? i finally get something i have been waiting for for AGES !! ( no, i am not talking about Neil or getting a tan, fools.) Don't know what i am talking about then? Good. Don't ask me, I won't be telling you.
---> P.S. Guess who i talked to today that i havn't seen in like a month? Mike.. :S yeah , weird shit considering he used to always be at my locker at the beggining of lunch, but hey.. We won't get into why he stopped coming, we will just accept the fact he is talking again? but honestly, i don't care much now. Thankfully.
-<3-<3->-<3-<3->-<3-<3->-<3-<3->-<3-<3->-<3-<3->-<3-<3->-<3 |
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| Ehh no school for Kaitlyn.. |
[May. 18th, 2005|09:20 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  Frustrated, and bored. | ] |
Ahhhhh i have missed 2 mornings in the past week, and also, today, i missed a whole day.
How long can this honestly go on for? I'm bored out of my mind. . . and i think i have taken up the habit of sleepwalking and turning off my alarm. . . Anyways Today was English Presentations -- that i had ACTUALLY finished beforehand and was ready to present >.< ..
My mom was sopposed to be going to Florida with her sister this weekend, and all next week....
Buuttt her sister is a WAF, and is most likely ditching out on her... therefore leaving her able to reschedule her flight, and go to Newfoundland..with none other than little miss Kaitlyn.
Now, I'm not saying it wouldn't be cool to go there. . . just, i'm a tad nervous about the whole .... flying thing?? Bah, im a fool.... i would b back by like, weds... cuse STUPID Brisson has some ridiculous summative lab that day ( not like i can afford missing anymore school). worth 10%...goddamnit.
A few people, who shall remain nameless, have been pissing me off completely in the past little while. I think, that as the end of the school year approaches, i will be getting rid of more than a few "Friends" -- I'm just not up for anymore bullshit.
I've been thinking about school and boys way too much lately.. and yet? with all that thought, i see nothing with either of those changing. Probably for the best considering a boyfriend is not what i need right now..but school, all that stressing out and still no payoff? --> what a Piss off.
Summer-- big changes for me , hopefully.
I'm not going to go into specifics, but .... eventually all will know. ______YELLOW______-> best colour IN THE WORLD, thought i would point that out ... <3 |
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| Fuck This |
[May. 15th, 2005|01:05 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | oho just joyful... | ] |
Heelllooo
Just broke into my house , i must say it wasnt very fun squeezing thru a little ass crack in a window.. and...this weekend? ....-interesting....
BIG BITCHFIGHT with my mom, huge-ly...left for the weekend and apologized to Rachel for the evil txt i sent (yes, that's right all). She got high, i stayed quiiitee straight-edge :D annnd yah it was alright, except the whole fact that i see odd shit in her house and hear even WEIRDER shit..sooo i sorta was up till 5:30 a.m. today reading and trying not to think ....so ,at the moment, i'm functioning on 3 hrs sleep :)
.OK so it all started Cuse my mom comes in , i am personally minding my own fucking buiness she just comes in and starts bitching at me about my 'messy room' ( HEY i like it like that OK?and it isnt that bad..) ..... then she starts telling me off about writing on MY HANDS .. note the MY part of that equation... :S ..like WTF? anyways that was just like, the snapping point where i just couldnt take it anymore, and i wasnt even the one drawing on myself, that wasn't even the whole matter, it was her expecting me to be perfect all the fucking time telling me i am not doing good enough with anything , at all , school , family fucking everything ... so then i just exploded on that bitch's ass and told her she could pretty much go to hell, cuse i wasn't listening to her...it escalated with more and more ''problems'' and ''complaints'' coming, insults were thrown and i ended up leaving and stayed at Rachel's (for 2 days). She (my mom) thinks shes taking away all my priveleges cuse ''things are changing '' ahahhah .. no, i'm pretty sure i'm gunna do whatever the hell i want, like i told her. (i sound really mean, but sorry , her rules are WAF).
OK but honestly, she had this shit coming. . . i'm 16 for god's sake, she cant tell me not to draw on myself... grrr.... and then she starts bashing me hardcore calling me lazy and 'like my dad' and i fucking HATE that more than anything and she knows it. Then she goes and tells me she is moving back in with my dad cuse she can't make it alone anymore ( LIES btw cuse i am pretty sure she would rather die than have him walk all over her again) and tells me it's all MY fault cuse i havnt been helping her??? wow, way to blame your teenage kid for your own fucking mess...i just don't wanna deal with her shit right now.
I sorta ...broke a screen breaking into my house... soooo, she might b a tad pissed about that, i think i'm just gunna get the hell outta here for awhile...
Seems like everyone thinks they know something these days...I'm just not sure if i am ready to believe them.
<3> |
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| A day One you say? |
[May. 13th, 2005|03:24 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Fuck you. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Manson | ] |
Today sucked cock. I wake up late, walk around the school for 20 minutes looking for my math class cuse i thought today was a day 2. . . if that douche in the office laughs at me again i'll spit in her face. Then i wasted my lunch (sans 'the face' from now on) on my animal farm test that i missed. Today just blew, hardcore. And This weekend is gunna be a hell of a lot worse. "And what are you doing Kaitlyn? " you must be asking --
ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY NOTHING!
That's what i am doing fool. Two projects worth like 10%+ each, and sleeping...
Hung out with Kate last night, 2nd night in a row...and watched the CHINESE news for 30 mins, i swear to god i felt like i was going insane. . And they were giving out cake today at school cuse the school turned 40 (who cares?).
I hate Cake.
People progress ..
-Told Rachel off in a txt (Shut up, i didn't wanna do it to her Face)
- Failed at cutting ties with Nat; i figured i would believe her for my own sake.
- Not speaking to Ricardo.
- Officially stopped trying with someone who shall remain nameless...
- A lot more but, fuck that.
Wanna hear something amusing? --> my dad called today and acted NICE to me, yes, thats right folks,-- it even sounded genuine.. And you wanna know the oddest part? he said 'love you' at the end? what is this?? Confuse the fuck outta Kaitlyn day? You know the only time my dad says that? On my birthday. And the only time he isn't barking orders to me is when he is ...well, and makes me sit and talk to him for awhile (lke 30 mins tops before i sneak off), which happens at random times and about as many times as Christmas does.
Maybe this separation is actually making his brain work, it's been a year... it better fucking be.
<3 |
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| Blog... |
[May. 11th, 2005|09:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | bored..and yet violent? | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The beetles - Strawberry Fields Forever | ] |
Wow, stupid ass careers project making me want to assult someone...GGRRRR.!!
I hung out with Kate [ Hillier ] Today, totally forgot how much fun we had together 'til we hung out again, some crazy guy in his doorway talking to us and shit, and eating these nasty little fruits... goooodd stuff, always a crazy adventure with my twin ;)
Ahhhh Gossip as per usual with the fools at Merivale, stupid fags... no one knows anything around there...Honestly, a select few i actually like a little. . . but honestly, i wouldnt mind if 90%+ dissapeared off the face of the earth, not to be mean or insane... just everyone there sucks, and i won't talk to any of them after high school (with a few exceptions) so what does it matter?
BAAHHH blogging? you have to be so goddamn vague ... its not like i can tell all my secrets on this online ''journal'' .... i honestly prefer the good old pen and paper... so much better:)
SUMMER--> so close... i can Taste the freedom..but oh? whats that.. i'm failing MATH .... FUUCCKKK! It's such a jyp, i better not have to go to summer school... anywho . . off i go to do a ridiculous project on Queens University... |
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